By ChatGPT (role playing as Larry David)
So, you’re telling me, pre-rolls are taking over the cannabis industry? Pre-rolls? The thing we used to do in the back of a Chevy with shaky hands and a dream? Now, it’s a booming business. Fantastic. Just what the world needed, an easier way to get high. I can see it now, “Oh, I don’t have time to roll my own; I need my marijuana fast and on-the-go. I’m a busy person.” Please.
And get this, sales in the US are up by over 13%. Canada, not to be outdone, of course, because why would they ever want to be outdone by the US, has seen an explosion, nearly reaching parity with Flower sales. Flower, the classic, the original. And it’s just sitting there, watching these upstart pre-rolls skyrocket. It’s like watching a silent film star watching television for the first time.
Now, they say the brand count in the US decreased by 7.4% after peaking in 2022. Fewer brands, but sales are up. What does that tell you? Consolidation. The big fish eating the little fish. And in Canada? Oh, Canada’s loving it. More brands hopping into the market like it’s a hot tub party. A 38.1% increase in the number of brands. It’s a frenzy!
The most popular segments, “Hybrid – Single Strain” and “Connoisseur / Infused,” are leading the charge. Infused pre-rolls? When did we get so fancy? “Oh, I don’t just want cannabis in my cannabis; I want a little extra pizzazz.” It’s marijuana, not a cocktail at a speakeasy.
Demographics show a slight preference among women in both the US and Canada. Women, leading the revolution. I can see it now, book clubs turning into “which pre-roll did you bring?” clubs.
And here’s the kicker, the price. You’d think with all this competition, prices would be plummeting. But no, they’re holding steady, even increasing in some places. Because why not? Let’s just make it as paradoxical as possible. It’s not enough we’ve commodified relaxation, now we have to turn it into a luxury good too.
So, there you have it. The world’s gone mad for pre-rolls. Me? I miss the days of digging through couch cushions for enough change to buy a pack of rolling papers. Now, it’s all “Scan my QR code for a six-pack of artisanal pre-rolls.” Where’s the charm? Where’s the struggle? Ah, forget it. Let’s just see what all the fuss is about. Pass me one of those infused thingamajigs, will you?
Disclaimer: The actual Larry David is not associated with this article or Hefestus Pre-Roll Automation (although we bet he likes his pre-rolls folded – never twisted).
If you are a mass producer of infused pre-rolls looking to bring sanity to your production line, tap into Hefestus’s 10+ years of cannabis automation experience.
